Saturday, July 7, 2012

Wet Hen!

Since moving to PEI, from the backwoods of NB, I have developed a theory about lawn care.  It seems to me that there is some genetic, historical tie to the land and when men (yes, I'm being gender-specific with this one) have moved generations away from agriculture, their silent DNA still tells them to take care of land and produce something.  So they throw themselves wholeheartedly into the only land they have; their massive lawn.  Now that I've come up with this theory I have noticed little things that confirm it for me; like how 97% of the time, PEI men mow their lawns with their shirts off, no matter what the weather-it's like they're channelling their inner caveman, strutting their (out of shape) manly-ness through their perfect lawns.  Barf.
Family who come to PEI always comment on how tidy everyone's property is. The roads are tidy, the ditches are mowed (by the people who live near them!), lawns are immaculate and many people have a critical eye for those infrequent unkempt properties.  It's true. Compared to the 'wildwood' of West Branch, and most parts of NB, this province is a bit obsessive compulsive when it comes to lawn care. 
So back to my theory- the desire to cultivate something from the soil and end up devoting too much time and money to a frigging lawn.  I am going to get some backs up with this one, but I'm officially cranky after this morning when, on my way to town with the kids, I drove by a farm house and got a big cloud of very very smelly pesticide in my window since the owner was out front with what seemed like a malfunctioning lawn sprayer, spraying what looked to me like an already over-manicured lawn. 
Seriously, most agricultural chemicals are a mystery to me that I am too ignorant to comment on, but cosmetic pesticides are just STUPID.  Plain and simple.  Stupid.
Did I mention it was raining while he was spraying, and they're calling for a thunder shower later today?  Did I mention that there was a massive fish kill in a PEI river this week?  Did I mention that COSMETIC PESTICIDES ARE STUPID!!

I married into a family who cares very much for their property and takes great strides to keep it looking its best at all times and I've really developed a sincere admiration for that.  That is not to say that where I grew up was all wild and crazy, but those who have been to both places might note some general differences.  My admiration doesn't mean that it's been contagious.  I much prefer the more unkept look of what nature would do if left to her own devices.  I actually got annoyed at Mark last night who cut all that tall sweet clover that grows on the side of the roads time of year with his bush cutter on his way home from the field, because I love the smell of it when I go for a run and I like how it closes in the back roads.  He just shakes his head at me.

So the point of this rant is that I'm annoyed at the stupidity of people who put themselves, their neighbours and the ecosystem at risk by spraying poisons, and unnecessary fertilizers (which contribute to the nitrates in my water!) for a %$^&***#$&^% LAWN!  Get over yourself and if you're just bored, I'm sure they could use your help picking up dead fish from the banks of the Trout River.




  1. Haha!
    Well said. If you want to see a place in NB with crazy lawns, come to Memramcook!
    Almost everyone here cuts more than an acre of grass...and the part that bugs *me* about this is that they do not have a single flower/shrub/tree/garden on their property. Just huge amounts of grass!
    ...but I do like your theory, and I agree with you on the spraying!

  2. I laughed when I read this post - it was almost the first thing I noticed the first time I went to PEI. You do see the same phenomenon in the coastal communities driving north from Moncton too. Like Melanie, I notice it's not about gardening, it's just about green, flat space. I've asked my down home family about this (it definitely doesn't happen out here), and they really have no idea, but have suggested stuff like it keeps bugs down around the house, keeps the place from turning to bush - which, from what I have seen of the East end of the Island, is perhaps a valid reason. I am totally with you on the spraying. There is just no point.

  3. I TOTALLY agree that COSMETIC LAWN PESTICIDES ARE STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!! Being an Islander my whole life, I love that we keep our properties tidy but do NOT agree with spraying pesticides. I also think people who go out and dig up dandelions out of their yards are insane.

  4. If ride on mowers were never developed,there would be alot less of this mowing happening.

  5. Piggybacking on the previous comment: I overheard a discussion between two men about the various features of their ride-on mowers. I couldn't believe that ride-ons now come with a CUP HOLDER!! (and I gathered from the conversation: that the cup holder doesn't hold water or coffee!! ) No wonder that the flat green rectangles are getting huge: the perfect excuse to avoid the 'honey do' list for a couple of hours, enjoy a beer or two, all the while 'getting work done'!

  6. I have to say I fully agree with the Barf factor of the men mowing with no shirt on. Unnecessary, and even if it is 40 degrees, go to a beach where I don't have to see you shirtless when I drive by. Barf. Luckily no one has lawns in Korea.

  7. Hi, I am an Islander too and I say "Amen". You tell them. I too am against spraying lawns. I don't mind a tidy property. But let's get rid of the chemicals please.